Thank god this fucking day is over. Just when I think we’re going to transition smoothly into the weekend, I see Perez has up that Britney may or may not be practicing a dance routine for Sunday night’s VMAs. I seriously doubt they would pass on the opportunity to make more money off of her performance (if she was performing) by doing something sneaky. But you never know! Check it out if you can get the fucking thing to load; his site is being bombarded.
Britney’s comeback performance is an aside on this very important post. People, I would like to introduce you to some English man model meat. His name is Will Chalker and he’s absolutely everywhere but I’ve never known his name until today. He’s done campaigns for everyone from Vuitton to The Gap. I like him ’cause he’s got a hot bod and big ears. Yes! I love big ears! —Handles! And big feet, schnozes, dicks and hands. Hot-tah-tahhhhhh
So this is my life. I just watched the first episode of America’s Next Top Model on YouTube and it was painful. (the Belladonna forum I surfed during, didn’t help ease the pain) I actually thought to myself that I should set a video camera facing me as I watched- to capture all my labored facial expressions for your viewing pleasure.
I felt mostly: disgust, shock, annoyance, nausea and I did make the backhand move a couple times. I love Isis and Marjorie; I wanna hug them both for different reasons. Sheena’s on the show ’cause she has attitude and she’s a big personality. Love the titties and neck work but she’s no great beauty. Then again, Adrienne Curry won one of those didn’t she?
I kept thinking during evaluation while Tyra told them to “*ahem* take off those earrings and that necklace,” that if it were me, my neck woulda been more crooked than Clark’s upbringing. I know they’re young and immature but damn lady! Condescending much? Are these your children or someone you’re giving a million dollars to, Miss Empower Everyone?
*ahem* Tyra?…lose the foundation that is a different color than the rest of your body. (throw in some neck snaps, eye-rolls, “fierces” and “ahems”) I’m never getting that 45 minutes back, am I? No, I know, I’m not…Am I going to watch again? Yeeeehsssss.
I don’t need another drug addiction but this looks downright fun...Afrojacks
I’m all for curves but what does she have wrapped around her ass and legs? Ace bandages? I’ll take cellulite over weird body shape and movement-keep your Spanks in the drawer for sexy times…SOMGWTF
Mena Suvari Naked. It’s good till you see the cornrows and acting…Etk!(Prob not SFW)
Someone got to see David Beckham weeing...(Audio)2day
I’m not the only one that thinks Diddy is a fucking idiot…HT
Hilarious Mariah Carey compilation video of her being, well, her…RFF
Buy Inspire. A perfume made by someone you don’t know, with Christina Aguilera’s name on it. If you want to emulate “Christina’s love for constantly expressing her femininity in surprising ways” see below.
When I saw these red carpet pictures of supermodel Eva Herzigova I immediately thought of Barbie dolls. But not the pretty in-the-box Barbies, oh no. She looks like those Barbies that you took in the bathtub with you. The ones with their hair all matted and cut up by the safety scissors; lookin’ nasty half naked- in an outfit that came on another doll. I always busted the legs off trying to make them scissor each other. Poor ken…He always was left out in the car with the Barbie horse.
I know that, everyday, I confirm to you that I’m immature and perverted but just to make sure: doesn’t Nahla Ariela sound like “gnaw onna areola” to you? Just saying!
Here’s Halle Berry’s lil’ mini-me, Nahla Ariela Aubry. I wish she was gnawin’ on a areola in that picture! I guess those precious cookies are reserved for the likes of Swordfish only. Boo, ’cause Mommies are sexy.
CRYING WHILE MASTURBATING MEANS YOU’RE A GOOD MONOTHEIST
Apparently David Duchovny has checked himself into rehab for his addiction to porn. Now, I contemplated just typing that sentence and leaving it, but you know me and porn—I can’t just leave it alone. I just keep talking about the topic of porn, over and over. “Hey look at this porn.” “Wouldn’t that make a great porn?” “I bet you’d like to see this porn, here’s a link.” “Porn saved my marriage.” “Porn is like cartoons for adults.” Porny, porn-porn…
God, I want to be famous so I can go onto Celebrity Rehab for my PORN addiction.
Me: “Hi everyone, my name is Seis y Nueve (pronounced like Stacy with a soft “t”) and I’m addicted to pornography.”
Group: “Hiiiiiiiiii Seeeeeisyyyyyy.”
Me: “I just want to apologize to everyone right off. ‘Cause, regardless of how you look, I have already or will in the near-future, masturbate to your image.”
“No Mary Carey! No touchy! *smacks whore hand away* I only like the thoughts, not the touches.”
I hope this rumor is untrue. New York Post is reporting that my favorite, hot, brilliant, (very out) lesbian news anchor, Rachel Maddow, is facing pressure to get a “network makeover” for her new show. Also known as: be femmy for “the suits” at MSNBC. There is talk of a skirt; let’s hope she is behind a desk.
GAG ME WITH A POON’
The Media can’t leave well enough alone. This isn’t about being attractive to men and women; she’s attractive. This is about every fucking representation of lesbians in the media having to be a reproduction of a frat boy’s, girl-on-girl fantasy. Get over it assholes, she’s just not that into you.
Rachel has a doctorate in political science (she was a Rhodes Scholar) and a background in HIV/AIDS activism and prison reform. She shakes a mean cocktail, drives a bright red pickup, hates Coldplay, loves arguing with conservatives, spends a lot of money on AMTRAK tickets, and dresses like a first-grader.
