Click here.

My s.o. has been suffering too.  You’re not the only ones who miss out when I am sick.  Note: don’t email any technical answers, we found out 100% that you can catch it. heh heh heh  Only when you find a mate like mine will your life be complete. *wink!*

I just found Marcus Randall on HunkDuJour and I think that’s French for “thank you baby jesus for this beautiful manmeat.”  I do know French but I think that shit is open to interpretation.  Here is Marcus’ Myspace and he’s going to be starting his offical site soon which will be Marcusrandall.net.  What I’m wondering is why baby jesus chose to keep him from taking more pictures with glasses on?  The tease is enough to kill a girl.

Some pics from Fantasticsmag.

Before you start to rag on me, I want to apologize in advance for posting pictures of Vida Guerra that don’t show her bootay.  I’m even disappointed in myself but I had to post them.  I really like her…In my underpants area, mostly.  And as long as there’s no more plastic surgery.

I do, I like her a lot.  She is built for sex.  A lot of douche bag bloggers (dudes) call her a butter face or whatever but those are the same dudes that call 90% women in the media fat.  You can tell they’ve never actually been with a girl built like a super model or a woman with curves; only the in-between.  In-betweens are fine, super model bodies are better to look at and curves are the best—I’m telling you.

Although I’ll allow some room for the fact my sex life doesn’t involve much staring into the other person’s eyes (or grill for that matter).  I’ll say, my friends: tits, hips, lips, ass, eyes, stature and long hair like that, makes for hours and hours of fun.  She’s built for rollin’ around, gettin’ sweaty and all-around genital fun.  I’d marry a woman like that in a heart beat.*

*provided she had a brain, was sweet, wasn’t lazy and didn’t fuck anyone else. *cheese!*

Whilst on my lovely vacation I bought magazines for the plane; of course this included the December Playboy.  I saw most of the Carmen Electra pics online.  I just thought maybe the internet scanners that be, may have missed one or two.  Nope, they’re all here plus extras.

Don’t worry if you’re at work and locked out of the boobage—they’re fucking disappointing.  Second gallery pic in, she’s wobbly eyed.  I was screamin’ in coach, “who’s photoshopping this shit!?”  It was sad.  When you scream in coach they won’t let you buy a second drink. What’s more sad, is that I had to read my Playboy with another magazine around it because people let their small human sit in my aisle.  Snot lobbers and photoshoppers ruin everything.

I have strong feelings about Carmen Electra, you guys.  I really think she can be more.  I spent some time thinking about it in the shower yesterday *cough* and I think she should do something drastic to her look.  Maybe a chopped bob and dye it black?  Jump full fledged in to BDSM porn?  That, or maybe just be naked all the time.

Darrrrrr…If you pick the Dutch model Lara Stone, you have no taste.  Just to prove my point I included pictures of Ava Rose with little make up on.  That’s how you know when a woman is really beautiful—when she’s not all caked up with whore spackle.  My preference is a woman who’s versatile, like Ava.  And if that don’t ’suade ya,  here’s some Ava porn.

I would also like to point out, again, that the fashion industry peddles pedophilia ten times more often and explicitly than porn. Lara is 25, Ava is 22.  Yeah…  I’m surprised the “fashion” photographer didn’t put pigtails in Lara’s hair and have her hold a sign that reads “hymens are overrated.”

NSFW

Carmen Electra’s Playboy spread…GOB

A site with some truly beautiful erotic art...PEXP

I never knew someone thought about labia in porn as much as I did…SL

*gurgling* If you like love pony play like I do, you draws will be a tinglin’ watching this video!…BIZ

Yeah, um, hey guys?  I just found a whole site about masturbation.  With technique ratings and everything-nyyyyce…AM

I love Aria but that’s not a fucking omelette.  When you look like that it doesn’t matter I suppose. …HT

I call ass implants…AW

Shower curtain with sexy man to ogle!  And you don’t have to share any of the hot water.  Warning: vibrators can be dangerous in the shower, make sure you get a water proof one. I don’t want any of my readers shocking their orifii…SBF

SFW

I got an “I know you’ll love this” link sent and he was right!  Thanks Granny!…GO

Weird gift ideas for the holiday season.  I like the peeing one, myself...IS

Well here’s a textbook “no shit Sherlock.”…NS

Hip hop album covers recreated with legos.  It’s funnier than it sounds. Not hilarious, but funny…F

It’s finally happened people: a fetish I have never heard of…SFC (site SFW, some links NSFW)

Looks like Hef’s daughter is going to be running for office…TF

I hate to say this but this shit’s gonna sell.  It’s not right but it’s a new idea and the fact it’s so fucked up only helps a porn…Jezzi

Apparently everyone wants a piece of Russell Crowe. Ew?…InQ

It’s shit like this that makes me love DListed.  Brilliant…DListed

Top 10 AMAZING animal videos!  Did I mention I LOVE POLAR BEARS!?!!!…BW

Oh hai, day six of sobriety!  I had no idea you would be such a raking, pervasive, agitating, roller-coaster ride to hell!  Here, I naively thought, tough days would be up front or in social situations!  Oh no?  Well thank you for setting me straight, o’ mistress of the vine.  I will no longer operate under the assumption that because I control what goes into my body, I control what happens from there.

How can I be such a narcissistic control freak whilst simultaneously being a pain slut?  There’s day me and night me I suppose…  I’ll give you a little window into my day today.  I went to the grocery store and sent the S.O. to get the NONALCOHOLIC Sprite Zero (which faces the wine mind you) so I was not tempted.  Side note: that grocery store design person should be stabbed in a reproductive organ for that arrangement.

But I was never in the clear my friends, never… I remembered just before check out-I forgot to look for that good Schweppes shit they have at xmas time.  What do I need to walk by, to get to said cranberry bliss?  Why rows and rows of glittering casks, of course.

I did it on purpose.  I like to suffer.  It’s a sickness.  Sometimes suffering is fun, this was not one of those times.  I made it out of that aisle with nothing but tears in my eyes.  Control and pain; tonight I won.  You can kiss my ass till tomorrow my fearsome, fermented opponent.  But I still love you wine, I love you…

And now Lovas, for your addiction?  High resolution images of celebs being idiots.  Bai Ling, lookin’ a fool on the red carpet like she do.

Dasha Astafieva is a classy lady who likes to party.  She’s also Playboy’s 55th Anniversary edition playmate for January.  It seems Dasha is one of Hef’s new girfriends, as I reported before. I’m excited she isn’t the typical plasticized blondie that we’re used to seeing.  Upon very close “inspection” I discovered the following: downy hair on her upper lip, lack of fake dagger nails, real tits from what I can tell, dark hair, no extensions, thin but not anorexic looking with pubis.  I approve.

I don’t know why I like a little upper lip down, but I do.  Have you ever tried kissing a girl when her wax job was growing out?  Not so hot.  I am going to ignore Playboy’s insistence on the outside the actual lip-liner job they seem to slop on their models.  Um, ’cause she’s hot and I wanna party with her.  Crazy brunettes are the best! *jumps up and down pointing to self*

“No deal was made with the Devil for physical attributes.”

*for those of you who aren’t religion geeks like me: seraph.